Day 9

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

Operation Care Round Two–this time we were able to finish the day without polishing the floors with cow dung.  However, today’s experience turned out to be one that I was not expecting.  We were about 15 minutes outside of Nkandla.  This mother has two daughters, both daughters I must say are HIV negative (that had to be some of the best news I was able to hear all day–I was so happy!) The mother, however, was dying of this disease.  She is unable to cook for the children.  No baths.  No cooked food.  No attention.  It was a terrible situation to place myself in, knowing that these children are in this kind of an environment.  Once we cleaned the house, washed dishes, washed clothes, the workers from Sizanani started to cook a meal for the children in the home.  Meanwhile, the waiting time become playing time very quickly.  Once again, I found that smiles and laughter mask the real emotions and the real suffering of these people.  I know that tomorrow may be a different day for them, but at least for today, they changed my own thoughts and notions.  The children are happy, constantly, despite their circumstances.  How can this be?  Especially on an everyday basis.  I find myself unhappy about the smallest things, let alone what I want to make myself for dinner.  My struggles seem so insignificant and so trivial when compared to the people I’ve helped these past few days.  I don’t often ask where my next meal will be coming from.  I don’t have questions about my own health and safety because I am in fact, healthy and safe.  It just bothers me that we both have struggles, yet mine just aren’t the same at all.  I don’t have to worry about my right to life.  Why are these people not given the same rights as me?  And what can these people do to achieve the things they want?  What changes will need to be made for this mother to get the medical attention she needs?  These simple things (well simple to me) are not even within the reach of these people.  The need jobs, food, money, health care, etc.  Why are South Africans being deprived of this?

My best always,

Philip

8:00 P.M.

Day 8

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

We were finally able to be a part of Operation Care and the social worker visits today.  Nkosazana took us to Woza Woza, a small village about 45 minutes outside of downtown Nkandla.  Our first visit found us meeting a 19 year old girl and her two sisters.  The 19 year old was now the guardian of the other two as the mother had passed away.  Their home was far from what I had initially expected.  Small.  Damp.  Dirty.  Flies.  Tattered clothes.  No shoes.  Unclean dishes.  Smelly.  It was legitimately the exact worse situation I could shave ever imagined.  The language barrier was quite difficult for us–while Nkosazana filled out paperwork with the older daughter.  That morning was awkward.  We were in this woman’s home in the midst of private questions about her health history.  It seemed as if we were invading their personal space.  However, when we transitioned to the next hut/home, the atmosphere made a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction.  As we sit down in the new home, we meet Senzo–a 17 year old boy who is in the 11th grade.  We ask him different questions about his home, his life, and his education.  He told us that he is proud of himself for making it his far.  I’ll never forget the words he spoke following this:

“I want to be someone someday.  I want to do something important with my life.”

He told me about his deceased mother and his gogo (grandmother) that now takes care of him.  It is day five in Africa, and I almost broke down crying in front of this kid.  I knew that I would hear stories like this before I left, but once I was able to put a face to a story, life completely changed.  The stories and the faces will forever resonate with me.  The stories and faces of poverty, of HIV, of suffering.  But one would never know of this suffering because it is often shadowed by smiles and laughter.

Fast forward to cleaning the hut  Cow dung + water = dirt floor polish.  Who would’ve thought?  The smell was anything from delicious.  I was not expecting to enjoy our floor polishing time; yet, it was pretty entertaining.

By the end of the day, I have discovered that in order to truly determine what the people need, we must talk to them.  We must engage in a dialogue, a conversation.  Our Lasallian Service Internship (LSI) seminars engage in a discussion in order to determine what the authors’ intentions.  Why did Dorothy Day do this?  Why did Ronald Rolheiser think about this?  These people need help, but we will never know how to actually help them unless we ask them, unless we talk to them.  Our best intentions may not be the best for the people.  We have no idea what they want necessarily.  Money doesn’t help unless it buys the products that the people actually need, not what we think they need.  Hmm.  More to be thinking about during my days here.

My best always,

8:18 P.M.

Day 7

(I apologize for posting this so late as today was the first day of my Spring Semester.  Enjoy!)

Monday, January 13th, 2014

I had the opportunity to work at the children youth center today with Crystal.  Once again as we started the day, singing became a priority during our morning meeting.  And of course they were all on key and sounded amazing.  During the meeting, the director began with a presentation known as “Praise Monday.”  Every Monday, they praise people for all of their hard work at the center.  The entire meeting was spoken with positivity and optimism.  This is definitely something that I would personally consider as I was able to witness the positive effects it had on people.  What an incredible idea.  When the meeting was over, Crystal and I both were quite unsure as to what do, where to go, who to be, etc.  We weren’t given any specific instructions so confusion became imminent at once.  We then discovered our place at the center, within the mix of all the children.  We sang songs, played games–with both groups learning and teaching one another.  When the day came to a close, Crystal and I began discussing the whole day and how we honestly felt about it all.  We came here thinking that we would be making a difference, changing lives, doing anything beneficial.  But we both could not determine how doing puzzles was exactly accomplishing these goals.  I still do not understand.  I want to be doing things.  Big things.  Things that will help the children’s center extremely.  We paint tomorrow.  While I know the center is in dire need of animals (different ones from Disney) splattered along the cinder block walls, there must be something in addition to that–something incredibly helpful.  I am still searching, still trying to determine what this may be.  I will keep you updated on my progress.  When we first met the sister at the center, she said that when people donate money, it doesn’t really help them in a long term point of view.  I honestly was shocked when she said this.  I thought to myself, “How would money NOT be of help short term or long term?  Can’t they use it to upgrade their facilities, buy more food/clothing/supplies, take in more children?”  If people back home cannot donate money, than how can they help the Sizanani Center?  What can I do back home that will also be helpful here in South Africa?  Dorothy Day insisted on having a dialogue, a conversation as a way for people to become more educated on social justice issues.  Is that what I need to do too?

My best always,

Philip

4:49 P.M.

Day 6

Sunday, January 12th, 2014

Today, we attended our first mass in South Africa.  And it was pretty dang amazing.  When Sister Jodi said the congregation would be good at singing, she wasn’t kidding around.  It was as if the entire congregation had practiced the songs before we even got there.  It truly sounded as if angels were singing amongst us this morning.  And I even knew the tune to the first hymn of mass–it made me feel as if I were home.  It was a time for me to finally divulge myself into the South African culture.  I now felt as if I belonged here all along.  I have also discovered that the sound of music and voice is the one aspect that connects all people in South Africa.  Mass has a large influence on this aspect; however, these people love to sing in mass, outside of mass, etc.  And they know multiple songs right off the bat–without practice and without choreography.  And they’re good.  Really good!  Every time I hear someone sing, I cannot but help to close my eyes and think about every detail of my life.  I just feel so happy and joyous when I listen to these people sing.  Like I said earlier, music and song are the things that connect people where.  It is the one main thing that people all have in common, despite ethnicity, social status, education background, etc.  And I honestly believe that this is a life lesson we can all learn.  If we choose to focus on the commonalities rather than the differences, I think we can get along with just about anyone.  I still have some more thinking to do about this one; however, I am quite exhausted from the game park today!  

My best always,

Philip

9:56 P.M.

Day 5–Nkandla

Saturday, January 11th, 2014

I have never felt so many eyes staring at me as I did today–as we walked with Sister Melinda through the town of Nkandla.  I felt quite uncomfortable.  It wasn’t just one person or five people.  Rather, the entire town had its eyes looking at the Americans walking down the street.  I have now become the minority–something I’ve never experienced before.  It was anything but comforting.  During this journey, I saw two children in the dirt, playing with trash.  With trash!  There were fast food joints tucked in the midst of shipping storage containers.  None of this seemed to phase Sister Melinda.  Although she has only been at the convent for three years, this already seemed to become the norm to her.  But this is clearly not the norm for the rest of us.  This is shocking, tragic.  Words cannot even begin to describe the list of emotions I felt during our trivial, sixty minute adventure into Nkandla.  Once we walked into Boxer (a very large, busy supermarket), I quickly noticed how life is completely different here when compared to the United States.  Food is open within the freezer section and left there.  The fresh meat is anything but fresh and sanitary.  This led to yet another mix of emotions.  I honestly felt like crying while walking through town.  I see the children, and I think about how hard the struggle must be to live each and every day.  Food.  Shelter.  Clothing.  Jobs.  Health.  Safety.  These are the things that I personally take for granted every day, and these people barely even have the necessities.  Later that afternoon, Sister Melinda drove us over to the Sizanani Project.  She gave us a brief tour as this will be our place of work for the week.  We entered through the chain link and barbed wire fence–another aspect of South Africa that I find unsettling.  We met up with the sister who is the director of the program.  She explained the finances with us:  the uniforms, the medicines, the food.  All of this, when added together, is quite expensive.  I now understand their main struggle, similar to that of Dorothy Day’s when she first started The Catholic Worker.  She needed money to print the paper, and the children need money to survive.  This has led me to begin a deeper level of thinking.  I must do something to fix this.  We must do something to fix this.  And soon!  We ended our tour that afternoon with a performance–songs sung by some of the children.  Their smiles and laughter seem to cover up the hunger, trauma, and need.  

My best always,

Philip

8:00 P.M.

Day 4–FINALLY IN AFRICA

Day 3=Travel, nothing exciting to write about whatsoever when on three plane rides and a three hour bus ride.

Friday, January 10th, 2014

Prior to arriving to the Franciscan Sisters’ grounds, I was quite unsure as to what to expect.  And I have been surprised every single minute since we stepped foot here in South Africa.  We followed Sister Ellen to our new home for the week–mind you that she drove three hours just so we could follow her another three hours back.  Although her driving was anything but nunlike, we made it here safely.  Our room is absolutely beautiful.  I am shocked as to how nice a place we have been given to call home.  When we headed off to dinner, seven place settings were set for us.  Just the seven of us.  The sisters had prepared homemade mac ‘n cheese amongst other things for our first real meal in South Africa.  They treat us as if we were first class citizens.  I was not expecting to get this kind of treatment in South Africa.  During dinner, Sister Melinda walked in with a five and half year girl who wanted to say hello to the Americans.  She grinned from cheek to cheek once we were able to introduce ourselves.  And then I had an instant light go off in my head.  That is why I am in South Africa doing what I’m doing.  I am spending my month long January term doing service abroad instead of spending it in a classroom back home at Saint Mary’s.  I am here to put smiles on peoples’ faces, laughs in their voices, and warmth in their hearts.  As cheesy as that may sound, that is the real reason as to why I’m here.  I want to be able to make a difference in someone’s life even if it is only for a day, a week, or a month.  I want to make these children happy to be lave and happy to be here.  It is worth every ounce of my energy making these kids feel happy.  They deserve so much more than just Americans doing service work for a month.  They deserve some real social, political, and economic change.

Our “apartment” for the first week in Nkandla!

Outside view of our “apartment”

Our room

Outside view. Most beautiful view we could have asked for.

My best always,

Philip

10:15 P.M.

Day Two–Still in California

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

Today I could not but help to think of how exactly Africa will be.  It is most obvious that it will be a completely different place when compared to the United States.  Nevertheless, this consumes my thoughts–especially today.  Day two without my phone has already become surprisingly difficult.  I miss being able to be in contact with my friends, my family, the outside world, etc.  Even though this is a challenge never experienced or even comparable to those of Dorothy Day, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela.  I find myself complaining about not having these material goods anymore–yet I know there are millions if not billions of people in South Africa and the world who have never experienced or had the change to enjoy these items too.  This is the difference between these cultures.  Yes, some may view this as simply as the “haves” and the “have nots.”  But is that how we should view the world?  Of course not.  Just because we are two different skin colors with two different values does not mean that we are entirely different.  Why must we focus on the things in which we do not have in common?  Why do people do this?  It is quite frustrating when people cause such conflict because of this.  We are all of God’s children–we have much more in common than we do in differences.  While watching the film A Dry White Season, we saw the massacre of children in Soweto.  This is something that has forever changed the way I view apartheid.  How could a government result to wars like this?  I’ve got many questions before we leave for South Africa tomorrow!

My best always,

Philip

12:27 A.M.

The picture below is the most iconic image of the children’s massacre in Soweto, South Africa that took place in 1976.  Hector Pieterson is the wounded child who is carried by Mbuyisa Makhubo after being shot by South African police. His sister, Antoinette Sithole, runs beside them. Pieterson was declared dead on arrival.

Day One–Not Yet in South Africa

Monday, January 6th, 2014

This afternoon we met a woman at the Oakford Convent.  Sister Nicolina is someone living out and harnessing the fire within.  The fire that drives us, as Ronald Rolheiser describes, can be used for two different purposes–the good or the bad.  I’ve witnessed firsthand how people choose to use their own fire; however, I have never quite seems someone such as Sister Nicolina.  As this woman was sitting here before us, she was telling of the many different ways that she has witnessed God’s miracles every single day, specifically with the two homes of the Oakford Convent.  “Wow,” I thought.  Here is a woman who has devoted her entire life to God but also to reaching out to the world in order for others to learn about him too.  She is a true example of the perfect fire within.  She has all of this energy, all of this passion, and she uses it to promote the big man himself.   Before Sister Nicolina left this afternoon, she said a few words that I will remember forever.  She said, “God is great.  Isn’t he?”  And he is.  He is ever present in our lives.  Whether we choose to realize it or not.  He is truly with us every step of the way.  This is definitely something to remember as I depart the United States for South Africa.  God is always with me, always standing right here beside me.  And he is always with the children and the families we will be helping too.  They will never stand alone.  I am quite nervous, anxious, excited, et cetera for the journey that stands before me for I know that I too, need to harness my own fire, my own energy to make some sort of a difference.

My best always, 

Philip

5:45 P.M.

Well, I’m home!

After about a month abroad, I am finally home from South Africa.  With no true communication with the outside world, this is my first post since I left.  I honestly have no idea where to even begin, but I will try to give you all a brief summary of my time there.

I left the United States thinking that I would be making a difference, changing the world, doing something big.  And I quickly discovered that this would not necessarily be the case.  I didn’t understand how playing with kids, washing dishes, and cooking food would be the initial steps of something even greater.  I have now come to realize that it isn’t about what you do or how much of it you do, but the experience is truly about how much love is dedicated to the work you do.  These people did not want money.  They didn’t want handouts.  They just wanted someone to listen to their stories and their lives.  That’s it.  And I didn’t understand what this would mean in the weeks to come in South Africa.  We wouldn’t be able to rid the country of the lasting effects of apartheid.  We wouldn’t be able to change the government.  But listening is something that we could all do.  And if we showed compassion toward everyone that we encountered, our goal would be accomplished.  I think that all of you will understand just how much I changed when I post my daily journal entries on here too.  You’ll definitely see the progression of myself, my thoughts, and my emotions.

On another note, I left for South Africa with quite a lot on my mind.  I have officially decided to become a double major with English and Politics.  I feel like this will open many more doors for me in the near future.  I left thinking about my friends, thinking about those who truly stand by me 24/7 and then those who, well cause more frustrations in my life then blessings–ones that don’t seem to care about my happiness and well-being.  Toward the end of my trip, I realized that now is finally the time to no longer worry about these people.  I just cannot handle that amount of stress again in my life.

Day one of being home has become a rough adjustment for me.  The jet lag has hit me like a brick wall.  I am trying to determine what time zone I’m living in again.  As cliché as the phrase is, there is no place like home.  The security of your own home.  There is nothing like it.

I’d love to write more, but I am pretty exhausted.  You’ll be able to read my journal entries starting tomorrow, beginning with day one.  I am so thankful for all of your prayers and constant support in my many endeavors.  You all (and you know who you are) are the greatest people in my life, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done for me.  I am excited to begin the second half of my sophomore year in less than a week.  I cannot wait to see what other opportunities lie ahead and what other memories will be created.

My best always.

And that is today’s thought.

–pg