I think I am at this weird point in my life (24 years of age in case you were wondering) that I wonder what the heck I am going to do with the rest of my time here. I find myself pouring over magazines and books and photos of pastry and bread and travel and food, food, food! I sit at home most nights and wonder what I could cook or bake before I head to bed. I dream about the kitchen I’ll have one day, Wolf range, SubZero fridge, with beautiful tile and the espresso maker of my dreams.
I wake up most mornings and realize that I feel like I am just going through the stages of life: wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, go to sleep, repeat. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like to think I have plenty of fun too. I’ve joined a wine drinking (tasting?) group. I go to the theatre (Hamilton…going a second time this year in June). I’ve started going to SoulCycle (thanks Chrissy for the free classes and for getting my ass in shape again). I run half marathons. Okay, well, full disclosure. I’ve only run two half marathons, which makes it a full, right?
But, nevertheless, something is missing, no?
Like I said before, there are some days when I think about becoming a professional bread baker. What I thought was a hobby has turned into a full-blown obsession. There are other days I think I should blow my savings and go travel, finding myself abroad (whatever that means, right?) I dream about backpacking the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I think about spending month(s) in France, eating every GD croissant that crosses my path, while simultaneously seeing Paris through the eyes of Julia Child. There are the days I think I should be a writer (lol). I recently had a question published online in The New York Times. Please hand me my Pulitzer now…thank you.
There is always this desire to get married and have kids too, especially as I see all these folks getting engaged on the ‘gram and the ‘book. Don’t worry, I know that my time will come. If not, just picture me with my two Golden Retrievers snuggled up on the couch each night as we shovel lemon bars in our mouths as quickly as we can (I say we, but I don’t think dogs are supposed to be eating that much curd).
Then there are the days where I have this inner desire to be doing something greater, something extremely meaningful that has a direct impact on a particular community. I think that maybe I should pack up my bags and head to New Orleans. I mean, could you imagine? Gumbo, beignets, and cafe au laits, all day, everyday?! In all seriousness, I miss serving. I miss working with people on that kind of a level: teaching, tutoring, polishing a dirt floor in cow dung in the middle of nowhere. Yes, that’s what I miss. Sometimes, I convince myself that I should join the Catholic Church and become a Christian Brother. I think we all go through that phase in life, but what a great way to live a meaningful, purposeful life.
Just a few weeks ago, I was daydreaming about winning the lottery: me and the other 8 billion people on this planet. But, could you imagine!? Holy toledo! I’d be happy with just $64,000 to pay off my student loans (if you’re a total stranger and are feeling so compelled to pay off my student loans after reading this, well, hey, slide into my DMs)! I am often caught daydreaming about the past, fun, random memories that pop up because a certain song comes on, a certain image comes up, or an odd flashback just happens to occur.
I call this ‘Your twenty-somethings’ because I have been told (I think) that your twenties are some of the most exciting times of your life. And while they have been, and are, I think there is more to come. I am hopeful that there is plenty more to come. While I do not consider myself the most successful nor the most accomplished, I do consider myself amongst the most compassionate, the most loving, and the most dedicated to anything or anyone.
And that, to a certain extent, is what I am most proud of…
regardless if I become a PhD holder, professional bread baker, extensive traveler, wealthy lottery winner, or Golden Retriever-toting-kinda-guy.
Needless to say, I am in the midst of planning my summer vacation(s) as we speak. Cheers to all of you, especially those of you dealing with these kinds of blues in your twenty-somethings.
be kind to one another.